I started this blog hoping to help myself and hopefully others, be their best self. That means I have to become my best self.

Some of us spend hours of our day on platforms only wanting to see the “perfect lives” others have. It makes us dream of that life, we compare ourselves to them and inside scream why not me. Maybe, we go, I’m going to do that too. I’m going to be a YouTube or Instagram or TikTok star or whatever. If we actually try, we realize that shit ain’t easy as it looks. We think if we don’t have that life, we’re failures and we watch more to live vicariously through them, because, well… its easier to watch others succeed than suffer thru the pain and hard work to succeed ourselves.

No successful person succeeds without pain, struggle and failure. It’s those that get in the arena and dare greatly despite what others think. They will fail, again and again, getting up again and again, until they eventually succeed.

I’ve had friends tell me they live vicariously through me and the pictures I post. It made me almost dump all social media. They thought I had the life.

They don’t see the lack of sleep just in hopes of getting a picture I want and rarely getting it. The maniacal nature of my mind forcing me to go around the next bend just to see what’s there. They don’t see me grasping at anything to keep from falling off a cliff after slipping. They don’t see the blood after that slip usually. They don’t see me trying to blindly get a picture of something while driving because I can’t stop.

What else don’t they see? They don’t see me huddled naked on the floor of my truck rocking myself repeating, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because I woke up in the middle of night, a compulsion to climb out of the truck, lock it, throw away the keys and run up the mountain naked and lay down in the snow and die. They don’t see me at 14/15 with a knife trying to cut my wrist and only nicking it the knife was too dull. They don’t see the other times I tried. Me standing in front of a mirror thinking I’m fat even when I’m not. Feeling worthless because I don’t have a family. The List goes on.

The point is… No one has a perfect life like we see online. My life and problems look much smaller in comparison to many others deal with. Whether your goal is to help people, or just have the life you hope for, you have to start with yourself. Own who you are. Own your struggles. Own Your Fight and Show others how strong you are when you are feeling your worst, by sharing it, honestly, but quit letting those things control you. Keep moving forward.

People won’t change because you want them to. They May change though if They want to and are ready to fight for themselves, and you show them a way. Even a way filled with struggles and setbacks. We just need to be fully real with ourselves, and not hide behind what we want to show, before we can Hope to show others a different path.

We must show what some will consider our weakness, our ugliness our unworthiness. Our Vulnerability is OUR BIGGEST STRENGTH. To show our failings as long as we continue to move forward. Will others try to weaken our resolve with negative comments? YES!! To hell with them! As David Goggins would say, BRING IT MOTHER F*#!ER, YOU CAN’T HURT ME! I Am Now doing that.

Doing this blog is likely the hardest thing I’ve done to this point, and I’ve barely scratched the surface of my doubts, weaknesses, pain… But I’ve already benefitted from it greatly. The dormant inner lion, tiger, wolf, bear, unicorn, all of the above are awake, in me. Not to impress others, but to be fully myself, my best self, phyically, mentally, spiritually, in all ways! Whether anyone else cares or not.

It will not be an overnight transformation, but my past is in the rear-view mirror. Fear will not own me anymore. You see me slacking, Call me a Bitch! Hopefully I remember to thank you. If you don’t like me being me, tough shit! Remove me from your mind. I will stumble, I will fall, I will get up and persevere. It will hurt sometimes, but I will succeed or die trying. I will live fully! Will you?

I’m not here to motivate people. I’m here to encourage those who are ready to fight for themselves, to be themselves, no matter what others, including myself think.

May you all have an awesome day and keep/start shining bright!